I Believe(d)
By
Leonard Zwelling
I thought that promises had been made, at least I believe(d) that they had.
I believe(d) that my parents would care for me, feed me, love me, shelter me, raise me, and teach me right from wrong. They did all that, in every way. This was a promise kept. I believed in them. My faith was rewarded.
The second thing I believe(d) was that the United States of America would be governed by the Constitution and the laws of the country, its states, and all its localities. Heck, I am so old that I remember learning the Pledge of Allegiance as “one nation, indivisible.” No “under God.” That came later. There is direct line in my life connecting that pledge and the associated belief with the memorization of the Preamble to the Constitution in 11th grade and my belief in that, too. I believe(d) in those things. They are being upended now because the system that was established by the Constitution is no longer being followed. Law and order have been suspended for the benefit of the privileged and the ruling class. But I do not waver. As the opening line of The Godfather said: “I believe in America.” Me, too.
People concerned about what is happening to the country now ask me why I am still optimistic. It is because I do believe in America. The evidence around me may seem, at times, not to support this belief. Then the Supreme Court turned back Trump and his tariffs. There is still hope.
The third thing I believe(d) in was my Jewish faith. It started with ritual—lighting candles, certain foods, older people speaking Yiddish, and, of course, being different. My early years in Stratford, Connecticut made me aware of anti-Semitism. So did my early days as a freshman at Duke. Nonetheless, I never wavered. I was a proud Jew. I believe in the teachings of Judaism and adore their differences from the Christian teachings I learned when I read the New Testament as a Duke freshman. Judaism is a religion of laws. Believing in that aligns with my belief in the Constitution.
Now my faith has taken me to a very conflicted place where the homeland my people have dreamt about for 2000 years is being torn apart by men who believe that the word of God should dictate who gets to live where. The territorial disputes in Gaza and the West Bank are for men and women to resolve. God will be of no help to those who chose to invoke his name as an excuse to kill. Being Jewish in America is getting harder once again, too. Anti-Semitism is on the rise around the world. Never has the existence of Israel been more important. Never has the internal politics of Israel been more in turmoil. And then there is the threat of Iran.
Finally, during my medical training at Duke, I fully embraced the idea that a career in medicine was about service. I knew no one with whom I trained who ever thought about money when making his or her career path decisions.
Today, as the sub-title of my novel Conflict of Interest states: “money drives medicine and people die.”
I also believe in science and that the practice of medicine should be guided by science acquired using clinical trials and laboratory-based experimental research. It is evident that those in charge of the health care of the nation at Health and Human Services, the CDC, the NIH, and the FDA cannot quite make up their minds on this issue. In dismantling the infrastructure supporting biomedical research, the Trump Administration and DOGE weakened the infrastructure supporting public health because the mediocre leadership does not share my beliefs and the do-nothing Congress approves their appointments anyway. Congress needs to step up and reject the appointment of Casey Means as Surgeon General. She never completed residency training and has no medical license. Much like the leadership at HHS and NIH, she is not qualified for the job.
A lot of things I was promised along the way in my life will not take place. I will not go into outer space as Walt Disney convinced me I would on the Mickey Mouse Club.
I will not see an equitable health care system in the United States despite having worked for one for over 30 years.
My books will probably not be sold to traditional publishers to become best sellers nor will they be made into films. I’m just not a member of that club.
Somethings are beliefs. Some are hopes. Some are promises. But, the future of the United States and the academic medical system within it are now in the hands of people who definitely do not share my beliefs. In Washington, D.C. and at 1515 Holcombe.
This worries me.
